Quick Life Update: Muppets and Missiles

Patience is not my strong suit. Right now, I find myself in the midst of a slow and unsure phase of life, namely: waiting to see if our house here in Topanga will sell so we can buy the farm in Vermont. 

In any other year for decades and decades, houses in Topanga fly off the market. Topanga is a small town nestled in the Santa Monica Mountains. People love it because of it’s quirky Bohemian-artistic-nature vibes, miles of easy access to gorgeous hiking/biking trails, delicious artisan restaurants, and various, unique boutiques. 

Furthermore, any house under 1.5 million dollars usually has a line of people begging to buy it the day it’s listed, all offers being presented with accompanying heart-felt letters for why each potential buyer is the destined candidate, baskets of bread and wine, and the occasional under the table offer for a black market kidney (I’ve added a touch of hyperbole, but you get the point).

By the time we got the approval from the Vermont Land Trust that we were approved to buy the farm, it was a little off-season for selling real estate in Topanga. Typically April and May are the desirable months to list a house here. By June a lot of people leave, it gets super hot in Topanga, wildfires begin to become a concern as it gets drier and hotter, and a lot of locals leave Los Angeles for the summer.

We have jumped through so many hoops, leapt over hurdles, and literally moved mountains (well, Cal Trans did, but still) to be able to get to this point. And now, the part that we thought would be the quickest and easiest is just at a slow trickle of nebulous progress. Needless to say, I’m stress-eating Nutella out of the jar by the spoonful. Senya and Juniper still aren’t back from their east coast summer trip yet, so I’m also running, hiking, writing, trying to read (but it’s really difficult when your mind is hyper focused on something else), talking to friends and family and basically running in metaphorical circles because there’s nothing else I can do besides wait…and stalker text my realtor. 

And about our realtor…

We signed with a realtor here in Topanga that I’m now realizing I chose because subconsciously she reminded me of someone from my past that I liked. Recently it dawned on me that the “someone” she reminded me of was Janice from the Muppets. In hindsight, maybe that should have been a red flag rather than a deal clincher, but here we are. 

More importantly than Muppet doppelgängers, she was also the only realtor who took us seriously in 2017 when we didn’t have nearly as much money as we needed to buy a regular house in Topanga. When I say “regular house” I mean “a house.” But she tried her best to take us to see land that was for sale, and she entertained our unlikely and unconventional plans for how to live in Topanga (I’m telling you, when you fall in love with this town, it’s hard to not want to live here regardless of whether you can actually afford it). We finally relinquished that dream when our final plan to build a series of tiny mud huts on some barren and fire-ant infested land elicited the response from 6 year old Senya “Is there any chance we could just live in one, normal house all together? Like the kind with bedrooms and a kitchen?” At that same moment Juniper was crying because her chubby 3 year old bare feet were getting mauled by fire ants. 

But as for how our realtor treated us back then, she didn’t dismiss us and we remembered that.

You see someone’s true colors for how they value people when “people” don’t have any money. And this realtor treated us with respect. SO, Janice it is. 

So, while she IS respectful of people’s worth as humans, I am finding that she is not meeting my need for prompt and detailed communication. It’s killing me. I am an external processor, and when there is something of any importance or focus in my life, I like to have the ticker tape of communication constantly running. It’s difficult for me to not implode with absolute impatience and frustration. 

But alas, I’m trying to remember this guy named Vasily Alexandrovich Arkhipov. I’m remembering his essence (not his name— because that I had to look up 4 times to spell it here). 

This guy—he is possibly the reason we are all alive today. And it was because he didn’t act rashly. He held steady during some intense pressure and a moment of confusion. He was misinformed that Nuclear War had started, and he was ordered to launch a ten kiloton nuclear torpedo from his submarine. This idea didn’t sit well with him, and he had a hunch they should just rise to the surface of the water and have a chat to see what was going on.

https://www.trtworld.com/magazine/how-a-russian-soldier-prevented-world-war-iii-59-years-ago-12774934

I will leave that link for you to read at your leisure. My brother in law told me that story when we went on an 11.5 round trip hike to the former Nike Missile Control Site. Whew. Nothing like the idea of missiles and bombs to remind you how important it is to be patient and considerate about your judgments and actions. 

So, suffice it to say, holding steady isn’t my area of expertise. I’m more of a take action kind of a gal. I’d like to think that in the right set of circumstances, you’d be happy to have me there with the propensity for that bent toward action. I stand up for people. There’s no bystander effect with me. I see someone getting bullied or mistreated, and I say something. Just ask the employees at my local Sprouts (grocery store). Whenever there’s a condescending or outraged customer mistreating the employees, I get in there and say something because my employee acquaintances can’t without risking their jobs. Or whenever kids would get bullied on the playground, I’d be like, hey pick on someone…else…who is also much smaller than you (I was tiny but mighty). I’d like to think that in moments that require bold decision, action, and sacrifice, my quick processing speed in assessing the situation and tendency toward swift execution of a plan would potentially also save many lives. 

But sometimes, the best thing to do is wait. Sometimes the best thing to do is hold steady. 

Our clock is running out, though, in terms of needing to give the kids’ prospective school (LTS) our enrollment commitment or not. Senya also, DID GET THAT INTERNSHIP!!!!  (I wrote about this in my former post “Hope is Found at the Bottom of Grief.”) So, we need to reside in Vermont soon for that, too. We will have to decide very soon, if this house doesn’t sell, whether to move to Vermont anyway or whether to forego this dream. It’s hard to imagine giving up the dream given that we’ve come so far down this path already—and we’ve overcome so many other obstacles thus far. 

Apart from learning to have patience and wait, I also just need clarity on whether to push down every last barrier regardless of whether I’ve gotten the green light of this house selling first. When does one leap with confidence that they will fly? When does one determine that something is or isn’t meant to be based on the obstacles in the way? 

I’ll leave you all with those questions to ponder (and feel free to give your input in the comments section). Also to ponder: which Muppet are you? (I’m Fozzie Bear)